One day I woke up and I had something that would change my life forever.  I woke up that day with cancer.

As a child I never thought I would get cancer.  As an adolescent I never dreamed I would be the one sitting in the doctor’s office being told that small amount of information that would change my life so drastically.

I found out yesterday that I have cancer of cancer.  I know.  I know what you are thinking.  Cancer of cancer is impossible to have, but in reality it is very possible.  I went into the doctor when I was 23, so yesterday and I found out that I have cancer of cancer.  This cancer is a rare type that attacks the cancers cells of the cancer cells.  It virtually destroys cancer so that cancer cannot grow.

The way I discovered this was I was out killing time with a woman who had just gotten back from the Bahamas.  She was tan and radiant and I thought, wow, I hope she doesn’t get skin cancer.  Immediately after that I became obsessed with finding out the truth:  if I had cancer.  I looked over my whole body and found that the harder I looked the more I found.  In time I found that I had cancer on every square inch of my body without a doubt.  I told my mom, she shook her head.  I told confidents, they shook their heads and told me to get mine checked.  I talked to all my friends and they believed me.  They said, “Yeah, Terry, it is true.  You most likely have cancer and someday you will die.”  I thought, damn.

I finally found the courage to get checked out.  I went to the local clinic.  The receptionist was nice; she is my mom, and by situation she loves me.  I took a seat across from her desk she waves and smiles at me.  I awkwardly smile back, she knows why I am here and I know why I am here and everyone knows about everything.  Ah!!!  What do I do now?  I am sitting for about 20 minutes when all of a sudden a clown pops out and walks into the waiting room.  This clown is basically perfect form of a clown.  He has a big red nose and a white face.  Nightmarishly exact version of a clown with all the spirit of vodka.  He is good in moderation nauseating when over indulged upon.  He is holding three balloons and tells of a blond girl with tattoos who had just passed away from an epiphany.  She was beautiful and had no aliments at all.  She only wished to get out of where she was, and where she went she felt the same as where she was.  She prayed for peace in her life.  She even took lives.  She killed for knowledge.  She wanted everything as she wanted it.  She overdosed on knowledge in the throws of finding out she had cancer.  She thought she had nothing to live for.  She had nothing.  She would no longer be beautiful because she had cancer of the eyes and she thought that she would look better in a box in the ground.  She took her life amongst friends; they thought she was asleep, but when they tried to wake her she never opened her eyes.  She didn’t ever wake up.  It only took two weeks in a coma for the whole town and county of Houston to realize that she had meant more to them than anyone.  A no name, her life was worth more than anyone to the town and county of Houston.  The people became so enthralled with this girl that they built a bronze sculpture of her in the middle of their town as a monument to all those vein people who thought life was a joke and so superficial that a girl must die because she cannot find a cure for cancer.  The clown explained this statue is over in the middle of town and the cure for cancer is within it.  I got up out of my chair and ran to the middle of town.  Dust blew and the sun was shining above, I ran like I have never ran before or after again.  I ran until I got to the statue.  I thought of my grandfather.

The statue was amazing, bronze, sort of, green from the chemical reaction of water or something on the bronze.

I searched up and down.  Left and right.  I searched until I found nothing.  I looked on the ground.  I dug up the dirt with my fingers.  My nails became dirty and bloodied.  I still searched.  I found nothing.  I searched until I could no longer search and became so exhausted that I fell asleep.  I had a dream I was a fish and I could not escape my fish bowl, knowing that if I did I would die.  Not knowing what death would bring me.

When I woke up I found the big clown standing over me.  He asked me what I was doing.  I could not think.  It was dusk, the same as day minus some sun, a bit colder, but with more bugs.  The clown looked confused.  I said, “You told me that the cure for cancer was within the bronze statue in the middle of the town.”  The clown looked confused as if I should have found the cure with ease.  I said, “You told me that I would find what I needed here.”  The clown looked at me and said, “You found it didn’t you?”  I said, “No.”  He said, “You found what you needed didn’t you?”  I said, “What do you mean?”  He said, “You don’t have cancer, you are only paranoid and too concerned about yourself to take in all the beauty of the world.”  He said, “You found what you needed, you need nothing at all.  You have everything you need right in front of you.”

At that moment the clown disappeared and I sat alone with the bronze statue staring into the distance at a blue bridge that crossed a river between two states.


About Terry Scott Niebeling

Hello, My name is Terry Scott, a human being with flaws. twitter: @sirterryscott Buy my ebooks:
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