The Vociferous Profligate

I am confused, I think…  I then wake up.

The first objects I see after I pry open my eyes this morning are crème colored blankets and a dorsal more beautiful than, say, the most spectacular painting you have ever seen in your life.  Not a blemish to be seen, tiny hairs that followed her spine to her buttocks, the best peach-fuzz in existence.  Her skin is a milky wonder, so pure even Snow White would be jealous.  I smell hair that smells of what I think is an expensive conditioner, or for eloquence purposes flowers, I find out later it is actually baby powder; she hardly has to wash her hair or her entire body in fact, she never smells, she showers once a week and wears no deodorant; she uses baby powder on her hair so it looks freshly washed and grease free.  I smelled her armpit and it did not smell at all it was incredible.   She is environmentally friendly by chance, I love her for this and she would laugh about it as if it is no concern.  I look down and I am naked.  I lift the blankets and she is also naked.  She lies facing away from me.  Everything is beautiful.  Life goes on.

I look up and there is no canopy on bars that are made for canopies, I like being seen so a canopy would take some fun out of it.  I walk to the bathroom to relieve myself and look in the mirror.  Do I really exist right now?  Is this really how it is?  Did I just wake up in this situation?  I have a **********, or had one, I am now ******, and I just fought with an ex for hours only to come to a most wonderful moment of existence.  Just when life throws you nothing but bad news and unfortunate events you find yourself in this situation.  I smile.  I am in her bathroom looking into a mirror, smiling, as I stand naked.  I piss and head back to bed.

I tell myself to take it all in.  I try to sleep.  I finally did and when I woke up it was 3 pm.  I woke up for 20 minutes, passed back out, and then we both got up.  I reached across her looking for my stuff.  My earrings had been ripped out last night.  I don’t remember this happening at all.  I have scratches on my shoulders and back; however, I don’t remember what caused them.  I thought I would have a hickey to explain, I don’t remember having one, so my neck was clean in the morning.

I mention to her I had weird dreams.  She said she didn’t remember dreaming at all.  She smiles and says she is thirsty.  She wants her “bubbly water” I laugh because I know it will only dehydrate her more.  She laughs because she thinks I am wrong and explains to me that it is just as hydrating as regular water.  She sits up gets out of bed completely nude.  She moves to the window, pulls on the shade a bit to tease the sun at what it might witness then closes it and turns towards me.  She looks to the floor and finds her bra and panties.  I never thought I would be happy seeing a girl get dressed but it was done in a way that I wish I had a camera to capture it.  I will never forget this moment.  No drool, no panting.  It wasn’t perverted; it was realizing beauty.  She said she was going to go down stairs and we were going to get breakfast and Bloody Mary’s at 3 pm.  We did, but before I left I fell on the floor and thought I was going to die from exhaustion.  She made jokes about how sick I was and we drove.  She kept laughing, and she had my attention.  We made it and I thought I was going to die on the ride.  I had cold sweats, nausea, and thoughts of passing out.  The night had turned out amazing going from disaster to heaven.

The next thing that happened was I think I met her boyfriend.  We sat down and he came up.  He was an average guy, relatively nice, and he shook my hand and put his arm around her.  I laughed inside.  Sadly, I knew this was probably the case.  She must have a boyfriend with all of the charm she has and her beauty.  Good for him, I couldn’t handle something like that.  It is too nice to possess.  We cannot own anything that has a mind of its own.  I received 3 Bloodies and a small breakfast, plus onion rings.  We conversed and ended up talking about how nutritious afterbirth is to eat, over breakfast, literally.  I wonder how nutritious it really is.  She told me she would eat it because it was so insanely nutritious and would most likely solve all of the world’s problems.  She said all this with the most sincerity.  I almost threw up in my mouth and then in the booth.  I got up after the meal and still felt ill.  I grabbed for my jacket, but boyfriend did me one better he extended his arm with my jacket in it and held it as for me to put my jacket on with his assistance.  I have never ever been in a situation like this before.  I get your girlfriend for one night and have a meal with you and her then, and wait, I get to have you assist me with my jacket?  I am all in.  I love boyfriends and I love secrecy.  I love the fact that more people lie than anyone could imagine and it is all in fun.  I don’t lie because I want to hurt people and I don’t lie because I think it is right.  I think it happens because we are human beings and we have bodies that have other agendas.  Her boyfriend was not upset at me and I know he knows I slept over for sure.   He is an example of how realizing that stuff happens is how everyone should go about their daily lives.  I will try to take his advice and maybe someday I will get to experience that moment again.  I love the things I see and I love the situations I have been getting into.  Can anyone blame me?



About Terry Scott Niebeling

Hello, My name is Terry Scott, a human being with flaws. twitter: @sirterryscott Buy my ebooks:
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