Wow, this weekend was ridiculous. I have never met a girl as crazy as the last one I met. I thought that there were times when I would never be surprised about how people’s actions make them appear completely mad, in a sense rabid, but this weekend got the best of my ideals on two fronts. I choose to believe that most people are normal, or for that matter most people have a common interest: to get along with fellow man/or woman, and live in harmony, and probably to fuck. I choose to go against this belief, I no longer agree with this idea. Here is my story:
After work, I decided to drop off some applications and buy some alcohol for later-this was the first bad move in a series of moves. It was dark and cold out I should have been on the couch watching a movie for the 3rd or 4th time as I do because I have nothing better to do. Instead, I bought a bottle of Sailor Jerry’s and a sixer of PBR, typical, but not classic, or classy, more crass than anything. I also purchase an extremely awesome beer which was brewed in Wisconsin. I buy one, just one, I should have bought ten. I should have bought a lottery ticket, won, and bought the brewery. But instead I drive through traffic, I feel I might have to piss my pants, but I don’t. I wait it out. I even stop at the local record shop to walk around and not take a piss. I get nothing in the store, I get in my car, and I keep driving. Traffic on Franklin Avenue sucks, so I am in traffic for probably 2 hours this prompts me to want to relax for the evening. I want to get my relaxation on on the couch and not be bothered, but I also have emotional issues where being around someone and having sex equals that I am worth something ( I got over this idea fast this spring, I have not a care for others anymore, except my close friends and family). The girl, I am, or rather was currently seeing kept texting me all day long. Little forget-me-nots-of-bullshit. I am sappy so I enjoy this because I know what this leads to. Whatever, I feel under the weather because I am starving and I want to relax. She texts me, “I want to dance” and “I want to be with you right now, you are so hot.” I text her back saying, “I am tired”. I don’t know. I knew I shouldn’t have left. A night of relaxation would have been great now looking back, but I guess it is for the better. I should have stayed on the fucking couch.
About an hour later, after some eggs and toast, I get in my car drive to her mother’s house and pick her up. She is fucked up. She has a glass, and when I say glass I mean real glass made out of sand sitting in my cup-holder type of glass-you-don’t-bring-outside-of-your-house-for-fear-of-breaking-it-or-near-a-car-for-fear-of-open-container-violation-glass, you know, of rum and coke and jumps into my car. I explain how she looks trashy and she gets pissed off. It was just a joke. Although it was trashy, I shut my mouth and start apologizing to stop the rant. She tells me she is trying to hit rock bottom and I tell her that is nice. She says we shouldn’t break up til after my birthday cause she has a present for me. I will never receive these so called gift.
The night takes a turn for the worse when she asks about where my roommates are. I say they are probably home because they live with me, that is why they are my roommates. This look of disgust comes across her face. She is not happy. I do not have a boner. About an hour of heavy drinking goes by. My roommate, Abby, is in my roommate Kaisa’s room listening to music. I go and talk to her. My gf loses it. I come out of the room and into the kitchen sort of surprised, sort of not really, only to get almost head-butted in the face. Luckily, I avoided the head-butt by steping to the side, which creates a situation in which my gf’s face abruptly contacts the back door of my apartment. I put my hands up as if to say don’t call the cops on me I didn’t do it, this is your fault. I walk to my room, then I walk to the kitchen to see if all is well. She explains to me that I am an asshole and she has to puke. I rush her back to my room where she insists on going, she then throws up in a brown grocery bag as to not prevent the puke from seeping through to my floor. I find out this does not work the next day. I take her to the bathroom and she says she wants to be alone. I give her some privacy and talk to my roommate to relay what just happened. We did not talk about her, only about the situation. It was respectful. About a half an hour goes by and I search the house for gf and find her in the bathroom sitting on the toilet listening, or trying to listen to what my roommate and I were discussing. Immediately she gets up, says she is leaving, and I say fine, and she leaves. I text her to see why she left and the only reply I get is “Done.” I have no fucking idea what brings me to this, but I passed out, woke up, got drunk at 9 am. I finished my PBR’s, I finished the bottle of Rum, I invited 2 girls over, who are friends, got blitzed, took a shower, got naked, forgot that I took a shower, forgot that I got naked, crawled across the floor of my house for an hour on my hands and knees, walked to the park, walked on the frozen lake, laid in the middle of the frozen lake, shouted at my friends, walked on a sidewalk, passed out on a sidewalk, took a nap, and woke up listening to Queen’s, “We are the Champions”. I think I love my life. What did you do?