Holiday Desperation

SONY DSCOn Holiday Dialogue:

“Really, Terry Scott, I am sick.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah…  I want to fix things, I want to fix the business, I want to fix dad.”

She put her cigarette out with lack of attention, it hung dark from her hand in the wind.  The blistery cold made me shiver.

“I am happy for you, I hope you fix yourself first.”

The snow and ice heard us, we passed it as we walked inside.


On Change:

I sit and think as someone expresses to me their best wishes to change things.  I try to change things myself, but they mostly, exclusively, include myself and my situation.  For the better, hopefully, I can only fix me.

And if I am not broke what do I do?


On Friends of the Opposite Sex:

She has like 2 or 3 extra all the time, a pity.  She has this insecurity which includes, but not exclusively, a lack of compassion toward one individual, inflicting the adverse effect on the unbeknownst’s psyche, because of her past life.

So present.

How does family effect?

On the Same Sex:

I see them, they are like me but only halfway, they are sort of this and sort of that, but nothing in full.  In short, they fall short.  And that is why I feel blessed.

How do I speak on Myself?

On Shoes:

I wonder if they know how much use my belongings get.  They must have seen my Chuck Taylor’s; ragged, with holes, and falling to pieces.  I can hardly afford to waste such a fine product.  And I thought I gave a fuck.  I gave more than that.  I gave my time…

And the story goes:

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

More like:

“Forget you.”

“Forget you too.”

I am angry…

And the story ends.

And how does one go about Their day?:

Daniel says to only gather as many sticks as you can carry, in a way.  Daniel says only deal with what you can handle.  Darrin says don’t bet more than you can afford to lose, and deny everything (I may deny this), and I wrote on it:

Good luck with the next best thing, I say.  Pleased to be seen, but not set on getting split at the seams.  Lost in dreams, you are.  And I say, where does a person stand if they have no idea what they believe? 

On Reality:

I used to believe in loving others, now I believe in loving self.

Bettering myself to better you.

I wonder if it is true-


About Terry Scott Niebeling

Hello, My name is Terry Scott, a human being with flaws. twitter: @sirterryscott Buy my ebooks:
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One Response to Holiday Desperation

  1. laurastir says:

    It’s ALWAYS about bettering yourself… You make sure your needs are met, and take care of yourself. In doing so, you set an example to others, and have more to bring to the table. happy holidays. Tell Dan I say hi, and I miss you both!!

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