Minneapolis, MN. One day after, Tuesday the 21st, 2013- This morning while doing my routine Facebook status update reading, I came across the news of a true Minneapolis tragedy: “241’s at the Triple Double (Triple Rock Social Club) cancelled forever… fucking douchebag wh*te trash.” This was an actual status update verbatim my friend “Bane” had posted.
I almost shed a tear, quickly my assumptions of the cancellation of the time honored 241’s and a DJ set were true. I did a little unobtrusive investigative journalism, upon calling and inquiring with staff at the Triple Rock, I found, “Club side closed Tuesday… Whole bar will be open. Still late night happy hour special though… No 241’s, ANYMORE, EVER!!!…” My inquiry verified that Triple Double Tuesday’s, were in fact cancelled indefinitely, and the validity of my friend’s Facebook status was legit.
I put an ear to Facebook, and the street like a real sleuth, to locate the cause of the cancellation, I soon found out it stemmed from a brawl which took place on a Tuesday night a few weeks back involving two local Hair-Metal musicians, and I use the word “musicians” very loosely, over turf control.
This travesty will affect hipsters, gangsters, music-lovers, and all artists in general everywhere. Where will they now get cheap drinks and their grind on to the best local DJ sets ever? Where will they now be free from the confines of society?
The 241 special brought those from near and far to share ideas, commiserate, and showcase dance moves to see who was the coolest in the West Bank area, maybe Minneapolis as a whole. Tuesday nights at the Triple Rock was where respectable law abiding artists went to socialize and fucking live. Life in Minneapolis will never be the same.
The events which took place, and lead to the cancellation, I am assuming, were similar to the events which unfolded in the dance-fight scene in West Side Story: plenty of leather jackets, rolled up skinny jeans, gangster threads, bandanas, V-necks, and slurred words of disrespect for all around.
How the brawl was not similar to the West Side Story’s dance-fight scene though, was the weaponry used; no knives popped out and were flashed around near the Triple Rock on that fateful night, and no one died, or was seriously injured. One witness, Kenny Boner, described the fight as, “…A cat-fight involving two grown men with 80’s styled women’s haircuts.” The cops were called and shit transpired i.e. cancellation of Triple Double, no more Tuesday night fun! Triple Rock is OVER!
One thing is for sure, alcohol was involved in the scuffle. Another thing is also for sure, respect and ego was definitely on the line, as the Triple Rock is prime mating territory for 20-something alcoholics who can’t just read a book and pass out in their studio apartments.
Minneapolis has truly suffered a loss, but more over it has learned a valuable lesson. That lesson being, don’t get so drunk that you get dragged into a fight, just walk away, or bike home wasted. Who cares? (And if you do get into a fight, don’t get caught.) No one makes you anything, you make yourself; no one made these individuals resort to fighting one another, and then involving the cops-upping the police state in our city. No one but these two individuals could have walked away, or settled this like adults.
A small caveat: This shit wouldn’t have gone down so smoothly had it taken place in the 1950’s, or even 1850’s, there would have been a real duel, of which I would have loved to witness.
In this case it was both parties who lost the fight. Binge drinking with pretentious egoists will definitely present an aggressive and hostile environment. It doesn’t matter who started the fight, staff should have intervened, people should have been the bigger person and walked away. Now we all pay. Pretty simple.
Don’t take things so seriously, and have a fun time.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, incidents, and dialogue, except for incidental references to public figures, products, or services, are imaginary and are not intended to refer to any living persons or disparage any company’s products or services.
-Disclaimer, American Psycho, By Bret Easton Ellis