The College of Wikipedia

SONY DSCPreface:

Since most of my audience, Americans, hate to read, I will keep this piece very short and very sweet.  And hey, fuck you if you don’t like the idea of taking a reading and giving it one label, one definitive thesis; defining it for what it is.  Holistically that is English, fact.  Kennen diese.

Body:

Firstly, go fuck yourself dickhead.  Well, not really.  I just think it is rude to call people out on bullshit-like, for dropping a fake accent, or, you know, just giving a speech and fumbling a bit, but recovering and doing their best.  Everyone sucks at giving speeches, so who is to judge?  I mean, I would prefer to laugh at people for making minor mistakes-and (honestly) I don’t mind it so much, because I am my own biggest critic-but it is really unnecessary and unfair.  If those people try, they are doing better than those who stand in the back of the classroom and mock; those who are being mocked actually have a voice, those mocking don’t.  I think people need to be more empathic-ally sensitive, but open to indifferences like vulgar language, aggressive actions, and just plain embrace-ment of anger.  That is coinage (embrace-ment_).  I highly doubt it will happen, said “embrace-ment”.

And this is why I yell at cars…

I don’t necessarily hate cars, or member drives (on MPR), or esoteric language conveyed by a professor, or Syria, I just think it is silly.  We all pay a lot of money for the information we are given, and for the most part (I think) Wikipedia is free.  If I have a professor who tells me I can just Wikipedia it, I feel I could just Wikipedia my college experience entirely, for free.  Moreover, I could buy a 3D printer, Wikipedia how to make a fake degree, and then up my resume to the “actual credentials I carry”.  I am a doctor.  I am one of the alumni of the College of Wikipedia.  Now, I assume that this college is ivy-league, natürlich.  I also assume that I am going to be making six figures because of this.  Hey!  I want to get laid and I want to sit on the beach like everyone else; I sit, sipping drinks with umbrellas in them, getting a radical tan, duh.  And, in real college, C’s get degrees, as Lee says.  My mind is at the beach, but my body is sitting at a desk staring at a professor, a clock on the wall (moving very slow), and watching my TA’s watch me ((secretly)(I see you girl)).  I am taken.  But I am not taken to the beach, I sit in sunny Minneapolis, and then I digress.

Fact, I move on.  No one cares.  No conclusions.  We move on…

And then:

What the fuck is the “event” in Derrida’s lecture?  Hmmm….  I think Derrida thinks the “event” is the epiphany which takes place when human-beings begin to understand that language is problematic, in that it holds a different meaning for different individuals; for instance, I say, “Fuck you, motherfucker!”  What I actually mean by this phrase is, “I love you, darling.”  Did you catch that?  I don’t think so.  So FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER!  And Derrida’s argument deconstructs itself, fact.  What I have learned in Modern Literary Criticism and Theory, so far, is to use more profanity in my everyday life.

The class starts with a lot of silence, some staring out the window, and a black turtleneck (let’s not forget that)-sehr modisch.  Unfortunately this class does not end well.

We obviously cannot make conversation, so we attempt to take on an open-ended essay question:  “What would Derrida’s critique of the “event” be”, Hmmm…. No fucking clue, maybe that Derrida is ambivalent, in that he is equivocal to everything that is considered common knowledge, or rather episteme.  I think we can all agree that there are many angles to everything.  As he says, the center is not the center.  This description of what Derrida’s critique of the word “event” is not this description of what Derrida’s critique of the word “event” is, ya follow?  I do, but you don’t, but maybe you do, but we both disagree.  So we agree to disagree.  Ja.

Some of my teachers are like:  I had a shitty day, you will have a shitty day too; I am in charge of your grade, so you have to give a shit about the bullshit spurting from my mouth, which has now turned into an inflamed asshole (Certain TA’s); and some say, Yes, yes, yes, (please leave me alone), yes, yes, yes (after class, please go); and others actually care, there is one who actually cares.  She gets up early and cares.

But I pay for all of those pedagogues.  You’d figure they would take things more seriously, but less seriously in the serious areas.  I don’t know, but I keep making class, per the usual.  I watch those skip and I know my grade is going up.  Stay in school, keep reading, and just go with the flow.  They make your grade, so make them happy.  I hope your night is wonderful, and I hope you have an amazing whatever.  Yeah.

Conclusion:

There is none.

Move on.

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About Terry Scott Niebeling

Hello, My name is Terry Scott, a human being with flaws. twitter: @sirterryscott Buy my ebooks: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1/191-4788099-1818040?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=terry+scott+niebeling
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