Top Secret: Mag-Pan; I need a Target Audience
The object that I have created is called Mag-Pan. Mag-Pan is a magnetic-esque device powered through precise logical inquiry, post-magnetism, and computer direction. It operates with only three components, respectively. Mag-Pan is unique in that rather than attracting metal exclusively, as magnets do, Mag-Pan attracts any, and all particular entities, organisms, and minerals, etc., that are typed into the search bar of a simple computer program. Depending on the power of the computer it runs on (mostly my Dell Optiplex 790 PC, hooked up to a *now unlimited electrical output generator), it can obtain vast quantities of material at any time, without limit; specifically, any amount of material at any time. Mag-Pan is not dissimilar to a reverse jet-engine with magnetic properties set up to detect and retrieve targeted particles, in that it is pulling instead of pushing, however, now, it is inexhaustible, indefatigable, and can track anything, anywhere. It may even be the world’s only perpetual motion machine in existence. Mag-Pan takes the most basic aspects of magnetism (in post-magnetism), computer technology, and human logic and transforms them into a usefully controllable machine.
Mag-Pan was discovered out of curiosity. Magnets had been used prevalently within the transportation community, in engineering, and for trivial things, such as holding bags closed, and postcards on my refrigerator. Humans had not used magnets to their full potential, though I was about to.
How I discovered Mag-Pan was through many hours of research, close reading, and experimentation. By crushing a magnet down to dust and recharging its particles with obscure electrons, one could create a magnet ten times stronger than the magnet one started with. This proved somewhat helpful, but it was mostly useless. I needed a way to control the magnet, to make it track things of importance, things of necessity, things I didn’t have. This last bit is not unlike the mindset of Bedford while he is on the moon, except I am on earth, in a shitty apartment. He wants the moon gold; he doesn’t care about getting to know the Selenites. We present similar theories. I’ll cite that there are millions of tons of precious metals, gems, and resources located within the earth’s crust, yet the human race could only dig so deep. I know the former now, the minerals and resources bit. We had barely scraped the surface. So, to solve the problem, I decided to bring the materials to me; right where I sit.
How I made a magnet, or magnet-esque machine, so powerful was through repurposing the magnetic properties with electrons, a process which creates post-magnetism. Through this I noted the power of the magnet had increased, however, by adding and displacing certain varieties of electrons manually, I found that the magnets attracted new and diverse targets, not just metal. It was unbelievable, at first I thought it was a flaw in my logic—or my eyes had gone bad, but when things started to move and shake, I could see this was no fluke.
After repurposing the magnets, and then putting them in the meta-transference room (in order to avoid the arduous task of manually placing the obscured electrons, which signal the track target of Mag-Pan), a curious and unfortunate event befell my progress. The magnet, or then Mag-Pan would not attract anything at all. No matter what I did, the particles attracted nothing.
This was a low point in the process; realizing that I would have to manually assemble the electrons in order for Mag-Pan to function properly, or at all, I sat and thought…
From being fully charged with electrons, moving some few particulars (not metal), and after being put through the meta-transference room, Mag-Pan became impotent. AH! NO! I was stumped… My creation went from super-magnet, with potential, possibly attracting foreign objects never before attracted, to attracting nothing at all. It was unable to attract metal, which it should attract anyway, always.
I thought for hours and hours, and like anything else that exists in the world, I came to a conclusion: these magnets (this post-magnetic structure) lacked one thing: a purpose.
Next off, I built a computer program that could shape these magnetic particles, a program that could place the electrons through the use of the meta-transference room, one that could give them guidance, meaning; a purpose.
I put my head to the computer screen and started typing away. I did not leave my lab for some days. And just as The Oregon Trail PC video game which entertained us all in elementary school became a thing, I had created a classic, Mag-Pan. Mag-Pan was officially ready to be driven off of the lot.
The first thing I had Mag-Pan target was a keg of beer, naturally… I plugged in the code on my computer and flipped a switch, and next thing I knew I had an ice cold keg of Hacker-Pschorr beer sitting in my lab, ready to drink, mostly. Now I could change the world. Obviously, I was astounded, but not astounded enough to stop at just a keg of beer. I needed one more thing. So, I plugged in the code and waited, and: BOOM—there it lay on the floor! Glistening under the lights of the room, I said it to myself out-loud, cocksure proud, “Folks, we have a tapper… Let the party begin.”
The particulars of Mag-Pan worked as such; I had to be discreet with wording my search, still do. [Some things I targeted didn’t work out; Marilyn Monroe… came back as a dried-up corpse, unfortunately. I had some other instances of outliers which are too difficult to explain, but I will tell you to never target: a rhino, Putin, or Honeybees. The ride with Mag-Pan appears to be a bumpy one, though I don’t speak Russian] I found that if I wanted a party it had to come in parts, discreet parts; the third thing I targeted with Mag-Pan was a bunch of cups, cheers.
The importance of the Mag-Pan cannot be over-stated. Although it is fun to mess around with such a machine, it is highly important for the survival of the human race.
Take for instance in the spring of 2021 when the water on earth had turned undrinkable, depleted, and full of salt via the rise of the oceans due to global warming. The one thing human beings desired most was something they had treated poorly in the past. They had taken it entirely for granted, water. I took it upon myself to create a tank for Mag-Pan, which held pure water. I used Mag-Pan to target and attract water (sans salt, imperfections etc.) into the tank, and by doing so solved the world’s water problem. After that, eventually things went back to normal.
Even before The Water Solution, I was rich beyond my wildest dreams. I had targeted gold, I had targeted oil, and I had targeted gemstones. Why did I do this, because I was greedy? NO! I knew that if people had nothing to possess then they would have nothing to defend, guard, or kill for. Mag-Pan would end all violence around the world. There would be no wars over nothing. If we all had everything we wanted, or we (others) could not obtain it… but I could, I could take it all away… so that no one would want or need it. This action eventually led to inevitable world peace due to the lack of things to fight for.
Throughout history the world needed something to own, to obtain, property, to claim. I had the sole machine that could get me anything I wanted, and everything everyone else wanted, too. There was no need or want, there was only have… I took it all and gave them everything, the whole world. The water, the oil, the gem-stones… They went through me and I didn’t charge anything because I had it all. The water crisis was solved even before it happened, after some deep thought.
Mag-Pan and its components (most of which I won’t share, for fear of others attempting to build such a machine), are made of everyday parts. You see them daily, you just haven’t thought of putting them together. They were merely collaborated in a different way, from a different angle. Thinking different affords many advantages. We have all of the answers at our finger tips, staring us in the face. The same keyboard I am typing this paper on, I found the most glorious treasures in the world with, and the necessities of life, a way to save the world and her inhabitants. I found that all by asking questions, making something different the wrong way.
Mag-Pan is now locked away in a very safe location, one targeted and located by Mag-Pan proper. Mag-Pan is safer out of the limelight, behind a wall where no one can find her, save for me, when a crisis arises.
And they’ll never find me anyway. I know this for certain. Taking extra precaution… The last thing I typed in Mag-Pan for a target was: Memory.
*You will understand the now after reading, and now…