On Punctuality, I Want The Job (A Metaphor of the Coming Apocalypse)

Smiley Face, Summerfest.

Smiley Face, Summerfest.

Sometimes I wonder, why do they pay her again? I don’t know. She comes in late, she offers elaborate excuses, and she leaves early only on the days that end in “Y” because of this or that. I would do it too I guess…

Let me go back on this inquiry (curious), this observation (objective). The best part of my morning is this contrived excuse, because it’s as frequent as the smell of coffee just made in the break room, somewhat stale, and it offers me zero insight, really, on anything at all.

I can always count on it to be unaccountable. It’s like bullshit at a rodeo—it’s there but I don’t care.

Sometimes I say I want this job—I do. Why, because I could make up just as many of these excuses—probably better ones, much better, and I could certainly show up late, it would be my pleasure, and I love pleasure…

What’s more, the constant excitement and angst over this situation—(I feel like I’m at a spoken word event—it’s mildly entertaining, and it’s always the same) which is often portrayed or feigned, over what will or won’t happen, is super outrageous…

Why worry—or fake worry? This isn’t an outlier event—it’s predictable, it happens, this occurrence is regular, normal, as a daily shower, as tying one’s shoe, as death and taxes.

You are late, you are upset, and you are probably going to survive (!), maybe, but just barely. I wonder why they pay her, and how much… I am certain it is a lot, more than I—I make about 10 an hour…

I am not trying to be rude; it just comes naturally. And this isn’t a sexist thing, because if one of my male co-workers did this every day I would mention it too. It’s more about the pronoun usage which emits concepts unique to each individual reader—it’s not the author’s fault. Text is alive and authors are dead.

I wonder why they pay her again, honestly. What could she possibly do (I am guessing she does a lot)?

Perhaps, in a way this is the most reliable thing a person could do: be late. Let’s talk about it while I show up early and think on the coming day’s work, because job security is a bitch, and if you want to get on top you have to put in the effort, and then some day you can show up late and tell stories.

See, I am interested in the amount because I do want the job.
I am ready when you are. The question is: are you ready?


About Terry Scott Niebeling

Hello, My name is Terry Scott, a human being with flaws. twitter: @sirterryscott Buy my ebooks: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1/191-4788099-1818040?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=terry+scott+niebeling
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