Tag Archives: comedy

To the Dark Side

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Limited Options: What We Learned From The First 2016 Presidential Debate

What we learned from the first 2016 presidential debate, a lot…  Trump is inconsistent, among other things, perhaps.  Hillary is a liar, among other things, perhaps.  I thought my parents were fighting in the living room last night, turns out … Continue reading

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What it means to “grow up”

Perhaps, to grow up means literally to grow from a child, up, into an adult. When I was a boy I wanted to be a grownup so I could reach things on the countertop without a stepping stool. I knew … Continue reading

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Why your cereal tastes like shit

Usually, when a bunch of people walk through where I am located (mostly at the library), I wonder to myself, why? I wonder why they are here in front of me, why I am here inside of me, and then … Continue reading

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On Punctuality, I Want The Job (A Metaphor of the Coming Apocalypse)

Sometimes I wonder, why do they pay her again? I don’t know. She comes in late, she offers elaborate excuses, and she leaves early only on the days that end in “Y” because of this or that. I would do … Continue reading

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American Dishwasher

The best part of washing dishes in a damp red cracked-tile floor kitchen in Northeast Minneapolis was being gifted the most delicately cut, sumptuous, grease dripping, tender and juicy, salt and peppered, prime rib end scraps, sliced thick to perfection, … Continue reading

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Biking to St. Paul in the Rain

About an hour before I have to be at work I am already leaving my apartment. I like being early. Most days I will arrive early at the approval of my managers and the bane of my coworkers. It’s so … Continue reading

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